Comparing your weight loss to others

You did it again!

I did this diet and I lost 20 pounds in 2 weeks. WOW! Thats something! I want to do that too! Such an amazing weight loss! So you go crazy and you do the same diet for a week and you lose 2 kilos and nothing more. You are disappointed, furious, half crazy, nauseous, tired… any negative emotion or feeling you can imagine, you have it. Do you see yourself?

 

Why it didn’t work for me? Maybe I was not strict enough, maybe I was eating too much X, maybe I needed to add more Y, maybe… you are doubting everything and everyone, you feel miserable, deceived, and not good enough. You are doomed to stay fat for life.

 

Does this sound familiar? How many times have you done this? And surprise surprise, it always ended in the same result. Maybe you even lost something. But you gained that – and some more – pretty fast again. Vicious circle and swallowing spiral of misery.

You are desperate

But it worked for them, so why it didn’t work for me? Well, there are many factors, most likely you weren’t just consistent enough for a long enough time. But your logic goes: I have these prescription glasses (made for me based on a doctor’s visit), and you can’t see well either, so try my new glasses and you will see the same amazing as I do. It doesn’t work like this, right?

 

And I think it is the same with diets. You have tried it all. I seriously doubt that there is a diet in this universe that you haven’t tried yet. And the results? At best you are where you started, much more probable you are 10, 15, or 20 pounds heavier, you hate yourself, and your self-esteem is destroyed, the same as your metabolism.

 

You are scared of food, you are overly restrictive, and you have lots of prohibited foods, obviously, these are the ones you love,  and you don’t know what, how much, and when to eat. You starve yourself, only to get to the point when you are almost fainting of hunger, and the solution is an overeating feast in front of the TV at midnight. What you haven’t eaten in the past 5 days, you will eat now in one sitting.

Outside – in

 

Things don’t work this way. You are trying to solve the problem from the outside. You try to bend over backward and get rid of the pesky weight, but you are oblivious that the real problem is elsewhere. You need to start the other way around. I know, the weight is the first thing that you, and everyone else, see. That is why you want to get rid of it. Who wouldn’t?

Inside – out

 

The solution that is much more effective, much “faster”, and much better for your long-term success goes from your inside out. The real problem with why you don’t lose weight, is you. I am not blaming you, who am I to judge anyone? What I mean is, that if you want to have something you have never had, you will have to do something you have never done. You have to act as a different person.

 

Role model for your future you

If you want to be the same slim and in shape as… I don’t know… JLo (silly, but you know where I am aiming), you can’t keep doing what you’re doing. You will have to do what she is doing to keep herself in shape, slim, and good-looking. I seriously doubt that she starves herself and then cleans the whole fridge at night in front of the TV. It is not likely her daily habit.

 

She eats well, healthy, I think she doesn’t even drink coffee (crazy!), has an exercise routine, takes care of her sleeping pattern, and has a personal trainer (no need to have one too). What I have in mind, she looks different from you, because she lives differently than you.

 

Yes, but she doesn’t have to go work the same as I do, she has servants and maids and helps in everything… Hm hm, it is just an excuse. She has all that but trust me, you wouldn’t want to have her “glamorous” life. Maybe for a weekend… She has to withstand far more pressure and stress than you can ever imagine, and all of that smiling in front of cameras.

Fad diets and miracles do NOT work longterm

But going back to the diets. It is not about another fad diet, they don’t work. Have you noticed during all those years? If they were so miraculous, there wouldn’t be any heavy people in the world. But they are still there!

 

It is the same with the magic pills and teas and drinks. If it all worked, why are there still so many people suffering with their weight daily? It is as easy as that. It doesn’t work. You are only wasting time and money. If you are extremely unlucky you might also harm your health if you go really overboard with these things.

Back to basics!

I don’t want to be the bad guy here when I tell you, you will have to go to the basics and start the easiest way. Eat less (than now), and move more (than now). I would correct it to: eat better and move more. Maybe start moving your body for the very first time in your life. Just be honest with yourself: when was the last time you did some kind of physical activity? No need to run a Marathon, but an afternoon walk sure counts. A long time ago, if I am not mistaken.

 

Nobody wants you to go from one day to another from eating pizza, chicken wings, and a pile of French fries to eat raw carrots and a boiled egg for dinner. It is not doable and such a drastic change will never stick with you. You know it best, you tried things like these before, I know.

Small change it is!

How about changing one small thing every week? Could you add an apple to your breakfast? Could you eat a smaller portion of those French fries? Could you skip mayo with the chicken? I think it i doable and won’t hurt you much. Do it like this for a month and you will see that it will become your new habit to have an apple for breakfast.

 

Maybe you could continue and start making a chain with the new activities. I eat the apple for breakfast, so maybe I could have white yogurt with my cereal instead of the sugary one. (Add some cinnamon, it will taste sweeter 🙂) It is doable. Maybe it will taste a little funny the first day, but it is a small thing that means a lot. Try to count how many calories this small switch means in a week, or in a whole month. Wow! Thats something. And you have the first two kilos down.

 

I want the outcome now!

Yeah, it sounds great, but I want to lose the silly weight fast! Eh… and you gained it all fast? Or it was a little here and a little there? See, this is what I am talking about. You didn’t gain it in a week, you won’t lose it in a week. It is very real. What is more, the faster you lose it, the more your body suffers, and if you want to lose a lot of weight, think about your skin. At some point, it will start to become saggy. But, that’s another topic.

Focus on yourself

Forget about what other people are doing. Focus on yourself. That is the most important. What you are doing, what you are eating, how does it feel and what does it do to you? Sometimes you will go faster, sometimes like a snail, but if you keep going, it counts.

 

Stick with it!

Sometimes you are stuck on a plateau, nothing is working and you are not advancing. Seemingly. The things are happening for you. They might not be visible at the first glance. But they are there. It is a process. Definitely not a sprint, but a slow and long Marathon. Don’t waste all your stamina at the beginning, you will need it much later.

 

You will have to become different

Losing weight is a mind game. If you want to look different, you will have to become different. It doesn’t work the way that: I will change for a while, suffer through this nasty diet, lose something, and then go back to what I was doing and what I was eating. This is exactly where the disaster happens.

 

The trick is that you have to change. But not only for the looks, you have to change for real. I don’t eat added sugar. Not for these two weeks. Forever. See the difference? You will have to become that person who doesn’t eat added sugar. Not the one who is counting the days till the end of the diet so that you can breathe in whole chocolate cake. That is the crucial difference.

It works!

But it is hard! Obviously. I never said that it is easy. But it works. And that is what counts at the end of the day. If you don’t change, you can’t expect different outcomes. Change is the only way how to succeed. It won’t happen overnight and it will be a very slow and sometimes incredibly painstaking process. If you are consistent enough and focus on internalizing the change long enough, it will stick in the end.

 

One day you will look back and laugh at the person in the pic you have on the fridge, yes, the old you. It will keep reminding you how far you have already got. And also how long the way ahead is. You are very wrong when you think that you will be happy when you get rid of the weight. It is not like that at all.

Many people are surprised by this. They lose weight and nothing changes. No massive happiness, no abrupt change of life, nothing like that. It is a process and it is a journey. And it is very different for each of us. Weight is just a number. And to tell the truth, it doesn’t define anyone of us.