Chasing the number on the scales

The hunt starts

Did it happen to you? You set a goal weight for yourself and you are working on reaching it really hard. It may be even a partial goal. Something like: I will lose 20 pounds. As the number is closer and closer, you are more and more excited. You check the number on the scales regularly. And once you reach it…

Two things can happen here. Or you are on cloud nine, it is your scale victory. You see the number, you are elated, you feel like the king of the world because you did it. Reaching goals can be so motivating for future progress.

… and nothing happens

Or, and this is the worst-case scenario, you feel nothing. You reached your goal and you thought that this was the answer, that this would be the moment when you would be splashed by great emotions like a tsunami wave, but now you are standing on the scales, seeing the number and nothing happened. You are completely empty, there is no amazing feeling, it feels like a normal weight loss, nothing out of this world.

So what happened here? How is it possible? Sometimes we are so obsessed with the number on the scales that we completely forget about other things that are happening in our lives. The number on the scales becomes our obsession, we leave everything on the side burner and focus on this single thing.

Monitoring without obsession

Obviously, losing weight is about numbers and measurements. It wouldn’t make any sense without these. How would you measure your success? It is a must. But what I had in mind is that we get obsessed with the goal number, we think that this is the answer for all the things we are fighting in our lives. When I get to that number, I will be finally happy.

So once you get there, you expect some huge change and you are very disappointed that nothing happens. You lost the weight, and you reached your goal, but there is no massive and abrupt change. To tell the truth, it is all the same. You were so obsessed with reaching this once very imaginary future, that it became all completely elusive.

You lost a huge amount of weight, you wear smaller clothes, you are more mobile, you are healthier, to get this far, you put in a lot of effort, you struggled, you had to put in a lot of work, maybe even deprive yourself of many things. You counted on this goal like a game-changer. And now you are disappointed.

Elusive future-land

You had things to look for, the future seemed to be so nice and so full of expectations that you placed all your reasons to live into this moment. So now you are expecting to fulfill all the expectations. And you realize that it is the very same morning as any day before. Only you see the number on the scale.

It was so important to get to this number that you stopped focusing on everything else around you and in your life. You don’t count all the non-scale victories, that they took you off some of your medications, that you can easily walk into the third floor and you don’t mind. This all doesn’t count. The most important thing was the number. But the number means nothing in real life. You will hardly introduce yourself to someone: I am XY and I weigh 150 pounds. Or maybe yes. But the person you have just introduced yourself to might be slightly surprised. It is too much information here 😀

New obsession

I know that after the surgery we become all obsessed with the weight. And it is understandable. We have been fighting with our weight for decades, so we love to see it disappearing day by day. But the weight itself is not the answer to all our daily struggles. You long to see a smaller number every morning. And at the beginning, it will easily happen without much effort. But the further we are in our weight loss journey, the more likely it is that the miraculous number might even go up for a while.

And this is where panic, anxiety, and doubts set in. I am not doing everything right! How is it even possible? I mustn’t gain any weight! The surgery is failing me! This all and much more is going on and ruminating in your head. And you can’t stop it. It is becoming an obsessive mantra that is hard to stop.

Conditional relief

You receive the number moving again with certain relief but you are anxious and suspicious from now on every time you approach the scales. Logging weight became your morning ritual. And also a very reliable new source of anxiety. Now you understand why your surgeon wants you to log the weight once a week, and later once a month. He wants you to spare this.

Unrealistic expectations

Many patients will tell you that they see the number on the scales moving very slowly. They thought they would lose the weight much faster and they feel deceived. These people face very unrealistic expectations they were given before the surgery. Most likely somebody told them that it is completely viable that they would lose 100 pounds in two months before their holidays and they wouldn’t have any loose skin, plus they would be all toned and glowing. We all know that this is the biggest lie ever.

From very unrealistic expectations come the biggest delusions and frustrations. On the other hand, when in your life have you lost 15 pounds a month? And every single month. It never happened and now you are complaining that it is not fast enough. This is a little weird. Just putting things into perspective.

New life goal – maintain

Some people become obsessed with their weight. It becomes their life goal. I must weigh X pounds. If not, I am a failure. It is a little silly way of thinking. Because the weight of any of us fluctuates during the month, in women, it is even more noticeable. So maintaining an exact number is mission almost impossible. And it obviously brings a lot of frustration and disappointment.

There are so many more things one can focus on after the surgery. It is not only about the weight. I mean, it is great to see the weight disappearing, but once the final weight is reached there is no need to keep weighing yourself all the time. It is changing one addiction, the previous food one, for another, the new weight one. And we didn’t want this. So let’s be a little careful about it.

Regular checks

On the other hand, I am not saying that never stepping on the scales is the best idea ever. It is not. We need to know how we are standing in the time. So maybe once a week, this is what to do, a quick check of the situation and that is. It is a good indicator of seeing things in the big picture. It might be a little more or a little less, but if it is going 5 pounds up and down, it means literally nothing.

And if it gets more upward trend, you are in time to act accordingly and stop it when the damage is still small. It is a few small adjustments here and there and you are back on track and nothing horrible happened. If you eat right, if you add some exercise, and if you are taking your supplements, nothing horrible will happen. You can even sin a little. Ok, in a planned and smart way. That is how to maintain the weight in the long term.

It is about reasonable control

So to sum up, the weight fluctuates a little. It is impossible to weigh all the time the same exact number. Don’t obsess, just have it under control and check on the trend. If things are going a few weeks up, it is time to act and fix things before they get out of hand.

But no number on the scales will make you suddenly happier, nor it will mean some dramatic change in your life. It is just a number. It is great to achieve goals, but weight obsession is only a new way of being addicted to something. Make sure it doesn’t swallow you.