Long-term success as a product of daily habits

Our past, our roots

Let’s face it. Our past habits were not the best ones. That is why we ended up here as bariatric patients. We are longing for a long-term success. We were constantly making choices that were not the best for us and because habits have this funny cumulative effect, our weight kept piling up until there was no way back.

 

Ok, it happened. No need to beat ourselves bloody. Most likely we got to the state where we felt that this is now or never. Or we do something absolutely unimaginable and save ourselves or it is all over pretty fast. I think that most of us have reached this realization. What was the last straw? It depends. Each of us had their own.

The right reasons

Maybe we didn’t fit in a booth, we couldn’t go on a roller coaster ride, we were so embarrassed when a chair broke under us, how about barely fitting in the largest clothes, getting stuck somewhere where other people pass without any trouble, maybe we couldn’t run after our kid in the park, we found ourselves sitting on the stairs in the second floor because we couldn’t go any further as the stupid lift was broken…

 

Maybe these things were more ”practical”. Something like sky-high blood pressure, prediabetes, being excluded from a health policy or having to pay incredibly high quotes just because of the potential preexisting conditions. Maybe they declined our knee surgery, because why do you do it when you weigh this much?

The breaking point

All these reasons were so upsetting, so humiliating, so unbelievable… but it really happened. At some point, we had to stop lying to ourselves and see the sad truth. Things are completely out of hand, there is no way back and we have no idea what to do. This is how we started playing with the thought of having this surgery. Quite extreme it seems.

 

Actually, very desperate people opt for very desperate measures. Maybe you tried it somehow somewhere with someone… only to face the harsh reality that this is not the way to go. At some point, the weight is simply so much that there is no other way how to get rid of it than to sort this out through bariatric surgery.

The brave decision

And I have to congratulate each and every one of us because we decided to be accountable. Ok, our previous life was an epic fail. We messed things up beyond reparation. But we decided to put in this heroic effort and go through the surgery. No, this is not an easy way out. It is anything but. It is really a once-in-a-lifetime transformation.

 

We got it. Or we succeed and we save ourselves or we fail and there is nothing much anyone else can do for us. Our lives will go in a very different direction than we ever thought of for ourselves. It is like this. Ugly truth. But we decided that we wanted to fight for a better life. And we are willing to do anything to get there.

 

Everybody who has gone through this stage remembers how desperate, full of hope, and endlessly grateful we were the day when we were approved and then when we got our surgery date. Omg! It was like all Christmas together!

Harsh beginning

We went through the hell of liquid diets, not being able to eat, constipation and diarrhea, intolerances, even vomiting sometimes, feeling lonely, overwhelmed, not knowing if this is normal, dumping, you name it. All of these were the price to pay for the second chance. Any transformation is painless and it tends to be somewhat harsh.

Remember the caterpillar and the butterfly? This is us! And we are getting from this green funny thing into a different stage where everyone will say aaaaaaaah…

We lost the weight. Most likely we sorted out most of our health problems. We are way more mobile, more active, more confident, everything seems to be bright and full of hope. Our dreams are happening. It is finally here.

 

We forget easily

The thing is that our brain is a little silly. It has often the memory of a goldfish. We remember nothing much. And only for a very short time. So it happens that pretty soon we completely forget where we come from. What it was like before. And we lose the high guard we were on for the past few years.

 

And this is where the old habits start to crawl back. A little here, a little there. Once you “forget” to go the gym, then you have half of the pizza during the movie night, then a glass of wine, then a weekend out, then vacation, then you are angry with your kid, so have a cake to calm down the nerves… and holly Molly… before you know it…  pounds are up.

Back to your roots

And they got glued to our butt and belly and they don’t seem to go away no matter what. Frustration sets in. And I bet you that the very first thing you will do here is go back to extreme dieting and punishing yourself and… you go back to what led you to the heavy overweight before. Why? Because you know it. It is automatic. It is the behavior you have been doing most likely for decades.

 

Instead, it would have been much wiser to sit for a while and check what was going on and where it all came from. Aha moment! Toot toot, I am not doing things right, so I have to rectify my slacking. I am careless and I am behaving silly. This is not the way to go. Back to square one to the behavior that worked and that helped me to lose weight. Why? Because it works.

Quick fix again

But you are so frustrated, so scared and so anxious that you desperately want to solve the problem immediately. You don’t want to stare at the horrible number on the scales every morning and remind yourself how useless you are. And this is the key problem.

 

We stopped doing what we should. We are not eating right anymore. We are careless about our liquid intake. We don’t weigh ourselves weekly. We stopped being accountable.

 

Roots of weed

I am not blaming anyone. Life happens. Things can get really crazy. That is a fact. But these are the moments when we should be extra careful. We know ourselves. We know where we come from. Yes, it is unpleasant, so we like that we start forgetting this with time. But this is not a good thing. Sometimes it is very important to remember our roots. Especially if they are roots of weed that love to sprout all the time.

We are left alone

They didn’t tell us and we have to figure this out by ourselves and sometimes it comes at a pretty nasty cost of some (more) pounds gained. And hopefully lost. After we lose the weight – congratulations – what counts incredibly much are the daily habits. It doesn’t matter that we had a great weekend somewhere and we had a blast. Much more important is what we will be doing the week after. And the next one.

 

We can have fun, why not? We are humans and we love fun. But we have to go back to our routines for the rest of the time. Check how we are doing and correct things when the damage is minor. At that moment it is easy. We can do that. It costs almost nothing to get rid of an extra 5 pounds. But what if they become 50 ??? That is a whole different story all of a sudden…

Build your daily routines

That is why we should start building our daily routines as early as things get to some kind of normal after the surgery. Chain the good behavior. It will become autopilot.

It is funny to admit this, but at almost 45 years I keep a diary. It is incredibly helpful and therapeutic. Before I write things down, I have to give them their name. And once they have a name, they are no longer a mess in my head. Which means I can do something about them. I revise every weekend what happened that particular week. Sometimes things happen so fast that we don’t even have time to think about them. And we are not aware.

 

Quick test: do you remember what you did a week ago? How did you feel? If you had a minor slip with food? If you did well in your exercise routine? Obviously not! That is why! There is a Chinese saying: even the faintest ink is better than human memory. I love it. There is so much wisdom in this. Try and you will see for yourself.

All in moderation

I am not saying to be a slave of a diary, calorie counters app, or excel sheets… come on, no one can keep up with this. But if we keep checking up on ourselves, it will be much easier to realize that some changes are not so great for us. Sometimes we are trying so hard to save the world, mums will know, that we completely forget to save ourselves.

Be nice to yourself. Treat yourself with care and respect. Show yourself some grace. Some weeks can be really hard. We all need help. Ask for it. Ok, your kids will have pizza tonight. You are too tired after a really tough day at work. It won’t harm them for once and they will love you anyway. No need to spend another hour cooking, dishes, and stuff when you can feed them otherwise and you simply take out your box from the fridge. It is ok.

 

The big picture

But always be aware of the big picture. That is why the daily habits are so important. If you build them wisely, and after the surgery, you have the time, you are your major project at that time, and they will help you immensely later. They will become your autopilot. If they are well set, they won’t abandon you when things get tough. We all will be tested at some point. It is inevitable.

Never forget where you came from. But also keep in mind that we are survivors and fighters. We deserve the great future that is in front of us. It will come. But it will need a little help from our side.