Levels of change to undergo to be a successful loser

The sweet beginning

When we are preparing ourselves for bariatric surgery, we know that there will be many changes we will have to make to be successful and keep the weight off long-term. It is scary. We are wondering how is it possible that there are people who make it and keep the weight off forever, and there are many who lose it only to gain it all back.

So where is the difference? What do the first do and the second don’t? To understand this we must touch some psychology to decipher this crucial difference in the desired outcome. It is all about the levels of change these people undergo.

Did you know there is something like three levels of change? I think you didn’t. So let’s have a look at it and explain what they all mean and why they are all so important.

1. Outcomes

The first one is the level of outcomes. It is the most superficial one. It is what is clearly visible. In our case, it is the surgery and the loss of weight. We are all super motivated, we are obsessed with the scales, we eat right, we do the exercise, and we would do anything to get to the target weight. And almost everybody gets there. The weight is gone. What I would like to add, this means nothing.

2. Processes

The second level of change goes around processes. This means that we change our habits and systems. This means that we focus on keeping up with the changes we implemented in the first level. We go to the gym, we keep eating right, and we focus on maintaining the lost weight. And this is where things get interesting.

Those who do

The people who keep the weight off are those, who stick strictly to the new routine. They do everything right, they have a plan, they review it, they keep counting the calories, they adjust the calories in and out, and they exercise more when they have some extra food in. This is how the system of new habits they developed during the weight loss part helps them to do the right things and they keep the weight off.

Those who don’t

The people who start to gain the weight back are those who are overly secure with the weight loss and without knowing it at first, they start to contaminate the newly acquired habits with the old behaviors. They skip the gym, they eat a little more carbs here, and they have the cake, the pizza. But they never compensate for that with extra exercise or adjusting the calories the next day. That is why the weight starts to go up again. They are not doing what they should be and that is why they would say that the surgery doesn’t work and that it failed them. But it is not the surgery. It is them.

Those who never did

This category belongs to the people who never actually changed. They tell you: I eat the same as before the surgery, only now in moderation. They never even started to go to the gym, they never started to do any kind of exercise. Of course, the first year after the surgery, they were losing weight, the restriction was extreme and they couldn’t eat that much. But once the stomach settles down, they can eat much more, and the calories start to mount. And inevitably, they will start gaining weight.

That is why you often hear: I need some weight loss injections to restart the weight loss again. The problem is they never changed, so no injections will help them. If so, it will be again only a temporary solution and once they stop, the weight will go up again. That is the problem. It is sad but these people wasted their second chance, they are lying to themselves and hoping for a miracle to happen. It never does.

3. Identity

The third level of change is a change of identity. This is the deepest one. The crucial. The most permanent. The one we strive for. At this level, we change who we are. Our beliefs, our self-perceptions, our judgments, our worldview, everything changed. We became a new version of ourselves. At this point, we internalize our new habits, and our new way of eating, we don’t see ourselves as the person who we used to be. We maintain all our new habits as part of ourselves. It is all automatic.

We don’t think and want to eat all those foods we used to love, we don’t take doing the exercise as a chore. It feels good and we want to do it, we want more of it. At this point the transformation is complete and it is almost certain that once/if we reach this level, we will maintain the weight off forever. This is what we wanted in the first place, the moment when we were approved for the surgery.

Some never arrive here

The thing is that not everyone makes it here. Any people who stay in the second phase, start to cut corners and they start gaining weight. If they are not aware of what is going on and they don’t adjust the processes, they don’t go back to what is necessary to do and to change to be successful again, they will fail. The weight will go back again and they will be frustrated and angry. They went through the surgery for nothing.

It is crucial to be aware of this. It is easy to do the right thing once the tool (the surgery) is working when the restriction is high and we are not able to eat. This is when we must work hard on learning and keeping the good habits. Build them as strong as possible. Because once we lose the weight, this is exactly when the real game starts. When we are left alone, the bari team will tell us that we are done, we lost the weight, good luck, and goodbye.

We are left alone

At this point, it is only us and the good habits we built. If they are strong enough, they will be our pillars in times when we get tested, when life happens, and when things are not going great. If we stand the test, great for us, we can go on.

It will take some time to get to the last, the deepest level of change. And it takes a lot of work, it is very conscious and very deep work on ourselves. That is why I have my agenda where I keep everything. I revise every week, and I go back to it every month. I always check where I am, what is going on, and where I want to go to be able to advance.

Be aware

Some things are relatively easy, but I know where my sore spots are, where I need to be careful, what to keep looking at, and be very careful. They are likely to change in time. But in the meantime, I have to be careful. These are my weak points where I could slip easily and they would drag me back. I don’t have the least intention of going there. That is why I put things down. Even the faintest ink is better than my memory.

Looking back…

And it also works great as a documentation. When I see the logs from the year, or even two years ago, I can see how far I have come. It is a long journey. Sometimes quite bumpy, and sometimes things are not so straightforward and linear. Sometimes I am stuck in a (dark) place and it is hard to advance. But once it happens, it feels great. How do I know? Because I document it. I know where I am and where I am heading.

Some goals are still very far away. But I have many that already happened and I have proudly ticked them off. They became part of who I am, of my identity. No one will ever take them away from me. I can be proud of myself. The logs are great because they serve as guides when I am not quite sure where I am and what is going on. I can stop, look around, and see where I am and where I am going. This is important.

So where in this process are you? Did you know about this? Does it make sense to you?