Second thoughts after the surgery

Second thoughts after the surgery

“I didn’t want to wait for the surgery, so I paid for it. I had it fast, was all hype, and it seemed like the best idea ever. Now, a few weeks after the surgery, I started to investigate more in detail about the procedure and I am petrified. There are so many things that I will have to do, and if I don’t, I will end up with damaged health and sick for life. I didn’t subscribe to this! What can I do?”

I wish I never saw a post like this. I felt… first sorry and then angry, I have to admit. Why? Sure, it is not my problem, so why so many feelings around it? True that. But still. The other day I wrote about the most common misconceptions about the surgery and I missed the crucial one as I see it now.

https://bariradka.com/en/2024/09/20/15-common-misconceptions/

It is a surgery!

People perceive it as a fad diet, as if it were a miracle, an easy thing to do, as if it weren’t a major abdominal surgery that is forever with no way back. They think that it will solve all their problems and that it all comes at no cost. Apart from the financial one. And then they are surprised when they finally figure out what it is all about.

This girl in her early 30s most likely saw a few posts somewhere on Instagram or TikTok and perceived it as a great idea to do. Something like: I will have the surgery, I will lose all the weight fast, I will be slim and toned and I will live like before. She didn’t want to wait for it, the quicker the better, to see the results now, yesterday it was late, so she paid and did it.

Wait, what?

I think she got a pretty nasty surprise right after the surgery when she had to follow the liquid diet and it was not negotiable. That was most likely something she didn’t count on and yes, it had to be a big shock. And the chain went on and on. You must this, you mustn’t that, the supplements, the pures, the protein shakes, the exercise… yes, I get it, she really didn’t sign for this.

Paying is not bad

I am definitely not saying anything bad against private clinics or paying for the surgery. There are times when it is the only way of sorting out the problem. If for some reason you don’t qualify or it is not available in your region as a part of public health care, it is a must and you have to go this way. But this was in Spain. So… (it is available and she would have qualified easily given the weight and the comorbidities she was also describing)

The thing is that often they do to you whatever on condition that you pay for it. A friend of mine once said they would sew you a penis on your forehead if you paid. Well, if you look with a magnifying glass, you will likely find a place like this. But this is not our problem. In many cases money is the decisive power and the well-being of the patient is discarded.

A nasty surprise

This girl was not informed about what the procedure was really like. What it means for her in the long term. What the steps are. What changes we will have to do. Nothing. They did preop tests, don’t eat 12 hours before and here we have you on the table. In two weeks it was all set and done. Nobody asked pretty much anything, nobody told her, nobody prepared her for what was coming. She was just happy to have it done.

A gastric sleeve is not like Botox lips that will fade away in a few weeks if you don’t pinch it all over again. The sleeve is forever. They cut out 80% of your stomach and threw it away. It is not there anymore. And we are not lizards, it will not grow again brand new. It is gone and now our new life without the major part of it starts. And that it won’t be a rose garden walk is pretty clear.

The reality sets in

This girl was in total shock when she started to investigate what it was and what she had done to herself. Obviously, the internet is full of beautiful horror stories from patients whose surgery didn’t go completely smoothly and they ended up with nasty complications and health problems for life. I am not downplaying things, it can happen, it is a major surgery and it has its risks. They are relatively not so common but if you are the unlucky one, then God be with you.

But it is the same with everything. When the sun is shining, no one is preparing for the storm. Still, it is a good idea to be informed. If you know what you are potentially facing, your decision will likely be much more cautious, not so precipitated – who can decide this in a week anyway? You will pay much more attention to details, to the likely pitfalls. You will simply gather much more information and you will sleep on it. And not once.

It was not all there

The girl admits that she was all hyped and excited, that she saw the Insta and TikTok videos, that it seemed like magic and she wanted that too. As fast as possible. That is why she did it. And once back from the hospital, seeing the first blow of “you absolutely must do this now”, she started to research thoroughly what the surgery meant for her. “They never mentioned all this in the videos, I didn’t know.” Well, so now what? Unfortunately, you will have to live with it. There is no way out.

She was angry with the surgeon that they didn’t tell her. Well, if they did or did not, hard to judge, we were not there. Most likely they told her something about a special diet after the surgery but she didn’t know what it meant and how much and how long it would impact her life. And it is the same with supplements and exercise. It is a surgery, not a magic trick. It works if you work. You stop working, it stops working the same fast. Ugly truth.

The waiting is not so bad

There is a reason why it takes usually a whole year in public health care to prepare you for this type of surgery. In my case, it was exactly a year. Maybe a single week was missing. There is a reason why you see so many specialists so many times, you talk things over, you see the psychologist, you see the nutritionist, the endocrinologist, all of those people in the team are so incredibly important. Don’t undermine it. The appointments are crucial.

You have all the time in the world to contemplate things over and over again. You go weeks and weeks reading, looking for testimonies, and information, you talk to people, you watch the good and the bad, you participate in the online groups, and you keep asking questions. You have so many of them. All the time. It is like a never-ending stream of doubts and your mind is wandering around this at the speed of Usain Bolt. So deciding this in a week is sheer nonsense.

This really happened to her

I truly hope that this girl will find a way of living with this decision. I can hardly imagine the level of frustration, shock, and literal fear. It is unlikely that she will end up with brittle bones, and severe malnutrition and will be in and out of hospital all the time. She is advancing reasonably well. But it is anything but what she thought it would be. But well, she will have to do what they are asking her to do. It is not likely to throw a two-day party with a lot of alcohol involved. Most likely never again. She will have to live a little more modest life. (Nothing against partying here 😀)

It is a big deal

Undergoing any surgery is a big deal. And anything related to your digestive system is maybe an even bigger one. There will always be some special needs and rules you will have to follow forever. It means altering your digestive system. Things will never be as they used to be. And you will have to undergo a major and very deep transformation of whole yourself to be a “successful loser”. It is not for free.

Still, I would do it a million times over. I know I am repeating myself, I keep saying this all the time. But in my case, even after admitting that the first months were quite hellish for me, I would do it again. It was worth it. I knew what I was getting into, ok, at least as much as you can be prepared, so things were not a big surprise for me. I had some intolerances, I couldn’t eat much for months, I was anemic, weak, dizzy, tired, you name it. It took me a whole year to get to some reasonable functioning again.

It is up to you

If you are thinking about undergoing any of the bariatric surgeries, do your homework. And do it well. Get as much information as you can get. Talk to your bari team, there are articles, forums, and people who already have it. Don’t be shy. If you want to know something, just ask. No question is stupid. If it is on your mind, it is important. It might seem like a silly thing, but trust me, no one will laugh at you.

Whether you decide for or against it, it is perfectly fine. It is a great option for some people and a horrible for others. And it is only you who will have the final word. No one will push you into doing something you don’t want. Good luck 🙂