Back to normal food and back

When I was preparing for my surgery, I had it clear. Once I finish the post-op limitations, I will be eating normal food and that will be it. I couldn’t be further from the truth, unfortunately, things were not this easy and straightforward at all.

As I mentioned in one of the previous posts, my stomach was not very happy about food at all after the surgery. It took way longer than expected to start advancing to the later stages of the post-op diet and it took me over two months to get to something that resembled solid food. I was full after three bites of anything, you can imagine and I learned pretty fast that it really matters if I send down one single bite more or not. Why? Easy. One single bite meant the thin line between when I feel full and heavily overeaten, salivating like a dog, and feeling like puking. 

So, when I started introducing solid foods, I had to take it very slow. After so much time I really longed for some normal food, something to chew, not all the parade of pictures, liquids, and scrambled eggs. I was already tolerating all of these reasonably, so my nutritionist decided that it was time for me to start adding some normal food. Well, on the softer side, of course. 

It was pathetic. I literally had three spoons of mashed potatoes and I felt as if I ate a whole field of them. I was just trying new textures and flavors. What you have no idea about, and your doctor probably won’t tell you, your taste will completely change after the surgery. What does it mean for you? That things you used to like may make you really nauseous and gag, and something that you despised will become your new favorite. It happened to me, and not only me as I later investigated online. Aha! 

So if you are preparing for your surgery or you see something you think you like, don’t buy it in advance, the outcome is not certain. In my case, it was broccoli. I couldn’t stand it and now I actively search in the store to have one prepared in the fridge for some yummy meal. The same applies to frozen one. I never have enough 😂

My biggest problem was that a lot of food made me seriously nauseous. I couldn’t even smell it. I had days when only a smell of any food made me so bad, that I had to leave the space or else… It was a minefield. There are a lot of bars and fast food everywhere, so people just thought I was drunk or crazy because I was walking along the street zig-zag. Crossing all the time, making disgusted faces, and running away as fast as I could. It took me months to get over this.  

I was eating way less than I was supposed to. I was not hitting my protein goal at all. I couldn’t see the protein shakes, I had a lot of different brands and flavors at home but I barely touched that. 

Eating meat turned out to be a punishment. The only things I could stomach without any major problems were tuna and scrambled eggs. So these two were my go-to protein source. I kept trying chicken, but week by week, it was the same. Clear no! It got stuck in the middle of the way to the stomach and didn’t want to go down. I gave up. Sometimes I added some ham, but it depended a lot on the day. Sometimes it was ok, give me some, sometimes clear rejection.

I was bouncing between this and trying that for a month. I was anxious about food because my nutritionist was jumping on my head that I must drink milk fortified with dehydrated milk but I was afraid to only look at that. It made me so incredibly sick every time that I must have developed a phobia. The stomach didn’t want any milk, any yogurt, any cheese, anything like that. Dairy products were an absolute no for almost half a year.

The worst part was that I was following all the bariatric groups online and everybody was talking about how they were eating this and that, how much they could eat, and what they liked or even preferred. I was happy to get inside the bare minimum to survive and not faint. It was frustrating, sometimes upsetting, but most often caused me a lot of anxiety because I thought that I was doing something wrong and that something was wrong with my stomach. It wasn’t. My stomach was perfectly fine, just took forever to start working more or less normally again. I mean accepting some normal food. 

The biggest blow came when I read for the first time somewhere that there were people who felt no restriction and could eat the same as before, and there were some who felt pangs of hunger three months after the surgery. And I was sitting over a can of tuna and pushing it inside under pressure. Well, not like that, but I was struggling with it. This was the last thing I needed to hear.

I had days when I was going back to the liquid stage as my stomach was refusing everything. So I had broth, a nasty protein shake, and Aquarius to drink. Sometimes it took two to three days to return to some more solid food again. But then, all of a sudden I had a day that looked promising and I could send down a little more, even solid things and there were no complaints. I didn’t get it. It seemed to have no pattern or logic. And I have to confess that I have had days like this till now. 

It sounds unreal but it is like that. All I had to do was to learn the signals my stomach was giving me and be a very obedient user. If I try to force things and convince it that we will be eating something that the stomach doesn’t want, it always ends in disaster. No exception. Prepare yourself that your stomach will rule your life. It will become your boss and you his subordinate. Any disobedience will be harshly punished.

When I was talking about the difference that makes one single bite of something, you will learn this the hard way most likely. They told you to eat slowly, chew well, make pauses, you name it. The thing is you are used to eating in some rhythm and people around you eat much faster than you can, so unconsciously, you will mimic them. Don’t! Eat mindfully, bite by bite, chew, and take it slow. If you disobey, you will see. Don’t dare you! The punishment is ugly. On the other way, you do it once and you remember it for the rest of your days 😀

My lesson learned from this period is that no matter what they tell you, you will have to listen to your stomach anyway. If it doesn’t want something, it is no, and it doesn’t matter what is in a book, what your nutritionist says, that you should be eating that already… if the stomach doesn’t want it, it is a no and that it. End of negotiations. First hydration, then protein, and then the rest of whatever there is on the plate. Most likely you won’t get that far, you won’t have space for that. 

Had I known what I know now, I wouldn’t have freaked out, I would have stopped comparing and looking for information like crazy. It is like the competition among young girls about who is taller and who has developed boobs first. It doesn’t matter and it is completely irrelevant. When it comes, it comes, and it is the same with the food as well. Try and if it is yes, celebrate and enjoy. And if it is not, just accept it, give up for now, and try a week later. And if it is still no, give it another week. One day it will be yes. So just be patient. Your time will come 🙂