They want to see you fail

Opinions of everyone

Many people around you will have strong opinions about your surgery. Most of them will keep it for yourself, but still, they will judge you. Luckily in silence. There will be some who couldn’t care less. For this group of people, it is their life strategy, so you are ok. But there will be some who will be very vocal and will let you know their opinion. And you will see for yourself, it won’t be anything nice. They want to see you fail.

They might think that they are doing some good service to you, but the opposite is more probable. Things like: you look gaunt, you are extremely skinny, you look sick, you are all bones, you should eat more, have this, try that, you are overexercising. Stop doing that. Does this sound familiar? I bet so…

You know better

The thing is that you know way better where you are and where you are standing at any particular moment of your weight loss. You know what your right weight is and how much more you are to lose so that the surgery can be described as successful. Your bari team is all happy with your progress, you put in all the hard work from your side, and all is fine.

But still, these people never seem to shut up. So all of a sudden you have a new team of nutritionists, surgeons, endocrinologists, and even Olympic trainers. The only teeny tiny thing that doesn’t fit at all here is that they are almost all overweight, if not straight obese. Aha! It is exactly them who could do anything in their power to discourage you, to hinder your progress, to put silly thoughts in your head.

They try everything

They would do anything in their power to see you fail. And if I say anything, I mean it. They will put sick worms of doubt in your head, they will try to convince you that you look horrible, that you should stop losing immediately or you will die, that you are already sick, they will blame you for being anorexic, for being obsessive with the gym.

But is it really true? Objectively, would anyone else say the same thing? If you look a little closer, it is not likely. Most people would say that you are looking great, that you have made huge progress and even congratulate you on it. But not those people. They are extremely vocal, they can be trying to be overly nice, mean as hell, and even somehow punish you if you don’t obey.

Just why?

But why are they doing it? And why are they so loud? The answer is easy. They want to see you fail. Oh, definitely not, they are my old friends, you would try to protect or excuse them. They seem to care about you, they want only the good for you. Are you sure?

If you think about it a little more in detail, you will get it. These people are miserable. They are all with some extra weight and they are getting sick. And now they see you slimmer, healthier, more mobile, happier, in nice clothes, full of plans, and doing stuff. You are unstoppable. Not them. They see the huge contrast that happened with you and they obviously don’t like it. You used to be one of them. But it is not true anymore.

You have it all

You are much better, good things are happening in your life, you are focused, you are progressing, and everything seems to be working for you. You became a winner. But not them. They are still miserable. And this is the exact reason why they want you to stay the same as you used to be.

They don’t want to see you advance, do all the great things you have planned for yourself and that are likely going to happen in your life. You became a shining star, you are much better than before. And this is something they will never forgive you. How do you dare to be this great? How would you do that to them? It feels like a nasty betrayal from their point of view.

You don’t belong anymore

It used to be so convenient to go out to eat cakes and fried food with you. Now you have become obsessed with a healthy lifestyle, you exercise, you go clothes shopping (not in the plus size section anymore), and you take much better care of yourself. But not them. They see you shining and advancing, you are doing everything they would love to do that but are too lazy, too heavy, too XX to do that themselves. And you are the painful reminder of all that.

That is why they would do everything in their power to drag you down to their level of misery. Misery loves company. They don’t want to be left behind. Because it would be them who would become the losers in this game. And no, nobody wants to be the loser of the game. It is painful, it upsets, it feels bad. They don’t like it. That is why they are insisting so much, using incredibly sophisticated tactics of convincing you and breaking you.

https://bariradka.com/en/2024/07/07/their-reaction-your-decision/

The decision is yours

It is only up to you how long you will put up with this. Their behavior is not healthy for you. It is detrimental. You don’t feel good around these people. At some point, it will dawn on you. Some people from your past won’t make it to your future. As sad as it seems, it is the unfortunate collateral damage of the surgery. It is not a complication in medical terms, but it happens to so many relationships that it is staggering. If they cause you more bad than good, it is time to let them go. Ugly truth.

It may seem that it is not anything nice. But the thing is that you will lose those people. Who needs this level of negativity in their lives anyway? But don’t worry. You won’t be alone. New people will show up. Someone from the same level or even from a higher one. Someone who will cheer for you, who will want the best for you. People who will support you, who you will like to spend your time with. You will share your new hobbies, new experiences, and your new lifestyle.

Scary decision

It might seem hard at first. But once you realize how things really are and the level of harm they are doing to you, you will start to reevaluate your old friendships and inevitably, you will start making a big “spring cleaning”. You deserve so much better than this. I know, they were friends for years, maybe even decades, they might be your childhood friends. But you will see that once you cut contact with them, you will all of a sudden feel much better. As if you took down a heavy backpack.

Sometimes you have to choose what is good for you. Start taking care of yourself. And do what serves you best. It might be scary at first. But once you do it, you will see that it feels as if you jumped down a cliff. It is scary at first, but once you do it, it is exciting, it feels great and it is a wonderful experience. You just have to do it.

Some relationships won’t survive to your new life. And it is ok like that. You have closed an important chapter in your life, so it is clear that some characters stayed there as well. But new ones will show up and they will have an exciting story for you. You will see.