A fresh start feels motivating

It seems easy at first

Each of us had been there. When we first decided on the surgery, it felt like a strong blow of motivation. Everything was clear, everything seemed easy, we all knew exactly how things would go, how much it would change our lives, and that it was a completely new fresh start. And when they told us the surgery date, it had an exact new start.

We were preparing, the exams and tests were sometimes unpleasant, sometimes mere had-to-be-done things, but as the day was approaching, we started to have small second thoughts. Maybe it won’t be as easy as we thought. Some people fail. Some had nasty complications, and sometimes they had even long-term problems. What if… you still decide to proceed and you end up on the table.

The reality check

The next thing you know you are walking/crawling in the hospital, IV in your arm, you are bloated, full of gas, and sore. It happened and there is no way back. You still have the brave face, you are trying to convince yourself that you are doing the right thing and that things will be fine, but it is not all so crystal clear at all at the moment.

And the worst is yet to come. You are at home, sipping your liquid diet that doesn’t want to go down for a few weeks, you are tired and nauseous, you can’t stand the smell of any food, and everything makes you gag. And everyone around you is having a literal feast several times a day compared to you. How many more weeks? Many, trust me…

Your motivation is at an all-time low

What have you done to yourself? You have serious doubts about all this adventure. This is inhumane. No one can stand this. It is complete madness. Days drag on and on, there is no light at the end of the tunnel. It is all the time the same. You can’t eat, you sip, you hate protein shakes but as they are the only food source for you now, you have to take it with a pinch of salt.

What is more, you read all over the internet that this lost 30 pounds in a single week, that one can already eat at least pure food, and everybody claims they are doing amazing. But you feel like a nice round poop. How is this even possible? Why me, you ask yourself. Actually, you can’t believe everything you read somewhere. Not everything is such a rose garden as they say.

Finding a source of motivation

So where to find motivation in this dark alley? It is anything but easy. At some point, you feel as if you can’t make it one more day. Do you remember in the very beginning when everything was so obvious and seemed easy? You should have written it all down. Now it would really come in handy. But never mind, things are not completely lost.

Take a sheet of paper and start putting on everything that matters to you regarding the outcome. What it will bring you? How you will feel? What you will be able to do? What won’t be happening anymore? Where things will improve? How it will affect your health? Anything that matters to you should go down.

It is not silly, even if you think it is. It is actually not. You have it all in one place and you can put it somewhere where you will see it every single day. If you are an artsy person, make it nice, with colors and stickers, and put it on the fridge. It is where all important things are anyway. So every time you go there to pick some things to eat, you can check why you are doing all that.

Things will become more clear and easy. Well, no, you won’t be able to eat all of the sudden something that you feel like, at all, but at least you know now where you are and where you are going. And things will get better. Just for now, it is a little complicated. But this too shall pass.

In and out of motivation

Motivation can come from inside, this is the one that keeps us going, we know why we are undergoing all this; or outside, it is the one you remember as a kid – eat veggies, and then you can have ice cream. Both work, but the internal one lasts longer and is usually stronger. If the ice cream disappears, there is no more motivation to eat the broccoli. Simple as that.

Find a buddy

If you can find a partner in crime who will be your support during the journey, you will see it will be all easier. Ideally, if it is also a bari patient. These people know what you are going through. No one from the outside of this bubble will get what you are struggling with and how nasty it feels. Yes, they will do their best, but it is nothing compared to someone who is going through the same hell 😀

To tell the truth, I would not rely too much on old friends and even family. They will all stare in amazement at the change you are going through. What is worse, some of them will try to drag you down, back to where you were. I don’t want to scar you but be prepared. This happened to many of us. Stop it! You look sick! You are gaunt! But you know that you have another 50 pounds to lose. Now what?

You feel all alone

At some point, it will look to you that you are in it all alone. That everybody left and you are in a deep hole and can’t get out. Not every day will be fabulous, that is a fact. Sometimes we struggle. When you are lucky you at least drink what you should and you can’t stand any food at all, when you feel sick, when the food doesn’t want to stay down, when you want to puke only watching the protein shake smiling at you… we all have been there.

Habits will keep you going

Sometimes things get hard. Well, it is the part of the story. We have to go through that to become better and stronger. It is exactly when discipline and perseverance come into play. If I say that it is important to start working on good habits before the surgery and have things prepared, I don’t say it in vain. Habits are important. They keep you going when things get hard, when you don’t feel like it, when you want to give up.

Remember why you are doing it. The list on your fridge is a good reminder. Keep it there. Check on it often. You will keep your morale high. Cry if you must, but shake it off and keep going. It was Winston Churchill, the prime minister of the UK during the Second World War, who said: If you are going through hell, keep going.

WHY you are doing it?

It fits great with bari patients. Remember your big WHY. The reason why you are doing all this. What do you want? What is the crucial motivation for you? And remind yourself all the time. Sometimes it can be such a silly thing like cute clothes. It is ok, some days are like that. If it helps you to go to the gym and drink the protein shake, it is perfect. Just do it. That is what counts.

The motivation we had had in the very beginning, will fade away with the difficulties of the day that come after the surgery. But things will get better. They always do. Sometimes you have to wait a little, but it will happen. You will get healthier, you will be able to go to places, wear nice clothes, sit on a plastic chair, you will fit in a booth in a restaurant. But first, you have to do something to get it.

Push a little more, your rewards are just around the corner. I am sure you will always remember the day when you were able to cross your legs for the “first time”. It is usually the first reward you will get 😀and there are many more waiting for you. One more day. One more protein shake. One more gym session. You will get there. Keep going!