Their reaction, your decision!

You have reached your decision. Something happened and you are at your breaking point. You have had enough and you are sure that it can’t be worse. The old life is over and you have decided to sort out the problem. The weight will go away and you will do it through bariatric surgery. You tried so many things in the past and nothing worked. You are desperate and willing to do what it takes to stop getting things worse day by day.

Sounds reasonable. I was there, so I know what you are going through and how it feels. You don’t take it lightly, you did your homework, you researched, you (think) know what you are heading into and you are willing to undergo this transformation. Fine! Good for you.

The thing is that you will have to tell at least your partner and/or your closest family. It is no outpatient procedure, you will be hospitalized for a few days and your recovery will be somewhat at best. You will definitely need help with a few things. There is no way out of this. You you will have to spill the beans, no matter what.

Wow! If you thought you had some basic idea about how they would react, I think you were very wrong. It is not very likely that they will support you at the very beginning. It was the same in my case. They have known you the way you are, I mean your size, forever and now you are telling them that you want to lose 50 kilos/100 pounds or even more just like that. Most likely they are not prepared for this shock. Please, try to understand them back.

They will have opinions and most of them wont be nice. Unfortunately. At least at the very beginning of your journey, you will have to convince them that you really mean it and that it is a good idea. To tell the truth, the only option that is left in the plethora of diets you have already tried and miserably failed.

Note to you: be consistent. If you have started your action, make a plan and stick to it like chewing gum on the sidewalk on a hot summer day. It helps.

You are crazy

They might think that you are really nuts and that you have seen some ad somewhere that promised miracles. You want to do that just because it is some momentarily crazy idea that sprouts in your head. Make sure that you reasonably deliver the news. Timing is crucial.

Could you not do it?

They will try to talk you out of it. At this point, they have no idea what they are talking about. And have no idea that it was you who spent most likely months following forums and reading articles all over the internet. You are much better informed than them.

You do not need it

This one is the best. They will do what it takes to convince you that your weight is under control and that having a surgery to lose it is a nonsense. They are only used to see you at this size an maybe, really, it does not seem to them that you have a serious problem. Numbers don’t lie. If your BMI is over 40, i have a very bad news for you. you have a serious weight problem.

I have heard that…

Miracles happen, each of them has a friend/acquaintance/a friend of a friend who did it and it ended up in disaster. They didn’t lose anything, they suffered a lot, they gained it all back, they had horrible complications, they died. Hm… statistically, it is not possible. Sorry to tell you.

If you check basic numbers, the percentage of complications is low and if you are doing what you’re supposed to, it is not likely that they will show up. Important: never lie to your doctors. If you messed up, tell them, they know what to do and how to sort it out. If you keep it for yourself, it will worsen and you might have important trouble.

And dying from this surgery… It is possible, it is a surgery, it is just unlikely. What is more, you will be in a hospital full of doctors and equipment, so if things start to go wrong, they will act. It is not any pleasure for them either that something happens to you.

It is extremely dangerous

The same as the previous point. Yes, it is a surgery, it has its risks, obviously. If you have some preexisting condition, tell it to every doctor you will see. If you are allergic to something, keep repeating it all the time. Maybe you had a bad experience with a previous anesthetic. And if the surgeon tells you that you must keep a month of pre-op diet, you will follow it. Your liver is big and fatty, every bariatric patient has that, so make sure you prepare yourself well. No one wants to open your tummy and stop the surgery because there is no space to do it.

You can do it in another way

This one is funny. I read somewhere that people who have problems with weight long-term are the ones who have the biggest experience with diets, exercising (and then quitting), diet pills, and the like. They follow hundreds of influencers, and they have tried everything. Every single fad diet in this universe. And nothing worked.

Your metabolism is so messed up that it desperately needs some hardware reboot. No way to make it work like before by any means. And what is more, despite having all the weight, likely, you are actually starving yourself. At least for some micronutrients and most likely protein. Let’s be honest here, a Big Mac is everything but meat and veggies, right? No, I am not judging you at all. I had my own sins as well.

Don’t take the easy way out

If somebody tells you this, you are officially allowed to take a brick and smash their head with it. Bariatric surgery is anything but easy. You will have surgery, you will alter your digestive tract forever, there is no way back, you will quite likely spend a few months when you will hate everything and everybody, and there will be foods that you will not be able to eat for the rest of our life, there is dumping, extra skin, supplements for life. And many more. If this is easy…

Anger/negotiation

They will try to negotiate your decision with you (while angry with you). They will promise you anything. Meaning any type of support, on condition that you don’t do it. Well, if they are so willingly offering that to you now, why have they never mentioned it before? Usually, this doesn’t last long. Unfortunately. They are only trying to sidetrack you. This means that instead of preparing for the surgery and facing your food demons, you are only wasting your time, and you are likely to gain some more weight. Stick to your original idea.

Support

It will take some time for your beloved to accept that you are in the process of rebuilding yourself and creating your new you. I warn you. If you think that you will go through the process and you will be the same, it won’t happen. At the end of this story will be a completely new person. Definitely much slimmer, most likely with the majority of health problems solved, likely with some empty skin – more than you desire, but also much more confident, much stronger, making much better decisions, doing things your old you never even dreamed you could do. The list goes on 👏

The decision is yours

If you have decided to undergo this ordeal, you must have a very good reason to do it. It is not another fad diet you will abandon in a week because you don’t feel like continuing. This is a really life-changing decision. And if the healthcare professionals agree with you and say you are a good candidate, enjoy their full support. They wouldn’t cut your tummy if you had 10 kilos/20 pounds to lose.

I would repeat here: do your homework first. Make sure you know as much as you can, the internet is full of good and bad stories. And remember that there is no way back if you have the surgery, you will not be able to eat the way you used to. It is forever.

If you decide for or against, it is up to you. But the decision is yours. Don’t let anyone push you and convince you, bribe you or even threaten you while you are in the process of deciding. It is not an easy journey. It is long, sometimes quite nasty, sometimes very happy, but it is definitely worth it. At least in my case, it was like that. So think about it. Don’t decide lightly. But decide for or against, just decide. And go from there.