Changes during the first summer

Past experience

Although I had the surgery in mid-April and I have not lost that much till the first summer, it was a very different experience. I grew up elsewhere, in Central Europe, so moving to Spain, where I live now, was a little difficult regarding temperatures in summer. I admit I was usually dying in summer, it is too hot here and by the Mediterranean Sea, it is very humid. So a perfect storm. As I gained all the weight, it was unbearable. I was usually so hot that I couldn’t breathe and I felt like fainting. I hoped that the changes would be noticeable during the first summer after the surgery.

Beach as a no-go zone

Technically I live 15 minutes by bike from the beach but didn’t go there for years. It was too hot, the swimsuit situation, and I needed to go outside; it was all a big no. Everybody is looking forward to summer and to me it was a nightmare, what is more, it is hot here from the end of May till the end of October. Yes, it attracts tourists from all over Europe.

First harbingers of change

Well, the first summer I lost maybe 20 pounds, some 10 kilos, but I noticed the difference a lot. I was not that creepy hot, and I could walk a little, so going shopping or having a coffee (Aquarius in my case) in a bar somewhere in the city, was a very good idea. I was much more mobile, I could breathe much better. My life was slowly starting to show up and it was like seeing a light at the end of the tunnel.

Food struggles

It was worth it. Although I still had a miserable relationship with food I couldn’t eat almost anything, everything made me sick and dizzy, and I felt like vomiting all the time. This part was a demotivating thing. I was drinking my liquids, but just thinking about eating something, I got anxious. I knew I would be sick and I didn’t want it at that time it felt so good going without food for a long time, I was not sick and I felt much better. Obviously, this was not the way. I had to eat, so I did, but hated every bite of that.

But the good part was that I gained some energy and I was not that sluggish like before. Although I was weak, my blood pressure and sugar were fluctuating like crazy, and it had an impact on my everyday performance, I still could do things compared to my life before, I felt like a crazy mouse going places every day. This was a plus.

Clothes fit better

20 pounds is not that much, but I felt it a lot on my clothes. Everything fit me better, I was not stuffed in the clothes anymore, and I could even start throwing away some of the largest things. It was the best. The biggest jeans? Goodbye and see you never! The biggest T-shirts, the same way.

And bought my very first dress. As incredible as it sounds, I didn’t wear any dresses since I was a child. I hated them, they accentuated my body, and couldn’t stand it. Now, it was a very different situation. I had a dress and I even liked wearing it. It was a huge game changer in the local temperatures.

Going out of my comfort zone

And I went to the beach after maybe 5 years. I did not go directly to the beach to swim, but I was walking on the promenade and enjoying it very much. And it was the same with the pool. I decided one day that it was the best time to go and try it. I found a pool in a village not far from where I live. I still didn’t feel like showing myself in front of a lot of people, so this was a good option. I spent a great afternoon there and to tell the truth, the people didn’t look at me anyhow strange. Silly me, it was all in my head and there was no reason to keep hiding myself all that time. Take a note, this one is really important.

Getting my life back

I have to say that my life was slowly starting to get better and better. It was incredible. It felt as if every week I was able to do more. Things that were completely unattainable before started to be accessible all of a sudden. No doubt, I was still tired, some days I had to throw the towel to the ring and get a good afternoon nap, siesta was invented for a reason here. But still, I felt as if I was getting my slowly but very steadily back.

All the things I lost because of the obesity, were revealing slowly in front of me and I was embracing all of that. This is something that people who have never gone through a thing like this will understand. Patients with obesity would love to do so many things but the weight is so incredibly limiting, that you know that you simply can’t, no matter how much you would love to. Inevitably it leads to feeling bad about yourself and ending in depression like a mountain.

Do it!

If you are still on the fence and you still don’t know if go for it or not I would encourage you to do it. Writing this, I remember the euphoria when I was sitting on a small rowing boat and going through the caves under a mountain close here. Wow! I would never dare to do this before. It felt fantastic. Sitting on the beach in a swimsuit, was a good step out of my comfort zone. But I did it!

I am not saying that all these things happen from one day to another. At all! It is a slow process, sometimes a really bumpy road, but it is working for you. At first, it seems to you it is only a huge sacrifice, you doubt what you have done to yourself – the first days and weeks, that is something, it is. But then, when somebody comments on your glow-up appearance, and asks if you have lost something… this is truly motivating. People start to notice (no, you still don’t see it yourself) and they give you the boost. And before you know it, you need to renew half of your closet because everything is too big for you.

About this next time 😀

Bariatric clothes shopping